We have all been to funerals where everyone sits and hears all the wonderful things about the deceased.  How honest they were.  They were loved by all.  Everyone respected their work ethic, etc.  I often wonder if that person ever knew how everyone felt about him.  How sad would it be if the only time they “heard” someone say something good about them was from the comforts of heaven (or somewhere less comfortable)?

I want to eulogize my husband today and make sure he knows at least how I view him.  What kind of a stamp he is putting on this world, me and his children.

Jim is the most honest man I have ever met.  His integrity is something he does not and will not compromise.  He has a saying, “There are no small compromises when it comes to your integrity.”   An example of this is how he simply cannot bring himself to rip anyone off.  A friend of ours brought a copied DVD to our home for movie night, something I saw as “normal” but it caused Jim pause.  He sees it as stealing from the actors, producers, and the movie industry.  A more recent example is when Jim went to our bank.  He was filling out his deposit ticket at the little table that has all the pens chained to it and saw an envelope laying there.  He picked it up and there was no paperwork inside, nothing with anyone’s name or account information on it.  But, it was full of fifty and one hundred dollar bills.  He estimated that it was probably close to $3000.  Without a thought or hesitation, he collected his items and the checks he had to deposit and handed the envelope over to the teller saying, “Someone left this on the deposit table.”  The teller was very surprised at this and commented about how wonderful that is that he was so honest.  To him, it’s simple, the money did not belong to him.  He has no right just to stick it in his pocket. He is without a “job” right now and we could probably justify keeping it by saying it was probably the bank’s mistake and they are a big corporation, they will not miss it etc..  But, such thoughts do not occur to him.  He just does the right thing…even if no one would ever know if he didn’t.  Always.  That is character.

Since I have known Jim I have witnessed how intelligent, wise and discerning he is.  He has an insight very rarely matched by anyone.  Even when he worked with men 20 years his senior, they would look up to him as someone who really knows what is going on.  He was their mentor in a way.   He can look at a situation and “smell a rat” instantly if it is not something on the “up and up.”  I am trusting, and sometimes blindly so.  He keeps me in check and will make sure I am aware of the things he sees or does not see in a person.  Sometimes I hate when he is right.  Which is more often than not.

Jim is methodical about most things that he does but is able to balance it so that he is not anal.  He likes his office a certain way.  He will notice if you move his stapler slightly out of place (I know - I do it just to mess with him) and calmly move it back to it’s CORRECT location.  But he is able to allow things to be out of order upstairs.  He understand our children do not know or care how he wants things and that’s ok with him.  He does not make me feel like slob or that the way I do things is wrong.  We know our differences and accept them.

Around the house Jim does more than his fair share to help.  As a husband I honestly could not have ordered a more perfect mate, partner and love to complete me.  He has all the traits I lack and visa versa.  God put us together.  There is no doubt in our minds about that.

I challenge you to find someone more funny than Jim.  I laugh daily, heck hourly, around my house at the things he says and comes up with.  His jokes and humor are clever and unique.  It is anything but boring with Jim is around.

His boyish enthusiasm about life and those little pleasures make him so endearing.  He get so excited about a new cell phone and will giggle with glee when he figures out a new feature.  He loves to keep traditions, plan parties and cook for those he loves.  Something I get the benefit of every day.

He is a devoted husband who takes his role as father very serious.  We talk in depth about the character traits we want to instill in our children and he works to make that happen.  He is patient, kind and gentle with them.  They adore him and he would die for them.  Alex has got him wrapped around her little pinky and Jackson is his best friend.  My heart melts when I see them playing together.

Jim has made and continues to make my life a joy.  I cannot imagine a life without him in it but just having known him I am a better person.  The lessons he has taught me about life, myself,  and other people are things that will and do help me in my everyday life.  I feel blessed to have him in my life and look forward to many more years of hearing his “Eggland’s Best” commercials on Sunday mornings.

I love you goob.

Be it my girlish enthusiasm or some sort of simpleton mindset I have but I get so excited about the smallest, silliest things.  Recently I started working out with my friend Courtney and my husband, Jim the Tolerable, who acts as our trainer.  We have been hitting the gym since just before Thanksgiving and are still hard at it.  In our inexperience with the gym we would kid that we did not know if we are supposed to shout slogans at each other, grunt or slam the weights.  So, we would quietly say to one another,

“Feel the burn.”

“Hate the weight.”

“Keep goin’ maggot.”

For some reason the last slogan stuck with us.  We were calling each other maggots at least 3 times a work out.  Finally, we began to call ourselves “Team Maggot.”  The deal was sealed when Courtney got all of us T-shirts for Christmas with “Team Maggot” embroidered on them.

Jim added to the unity of our group by creating a website/blog.  It is still under construction but you can check it out at www.teammaggot.com Oddly enough that domain name was available.

Like any great team I decided we needed a great mascot.  It obviously had to be a maggot but how in the world can you make a maggot look cool, cute, and approachable?  Well, he started out simply as a vision in my mind.  Then on New Years Eve I sat down at around 4:30 am and began sketching my idea down.  In my inebriated state, I did my best to get the vision I had in my mind transferred to paper.  Here is what he looked like:

A nameless maggot

Then I decided this job called for a professional.  I Goggled “Freelance cartoon artists” and found www.guru.com.  Awesome website chalked full of all sorts of artists from sculptors, to painters, to screenplay writers, to cartoonist and everything in between.  I put my job out there.  Within 12 hours I had 8 bids!  How flippin’ awesome is that?  Is it just me or the idea that some chick in po-dunk Indiana who has this idea for a maggot could hire someone out of Indonesia, Russia, India, New Jersey, or Illinois.  I went with a Midwesterner such as myself out of Quincy, Illinois.  We worked together and I think he understood my sense of humor about it all and my desire not to spend a lot of money.  For $30 I got a true artistic creation and got to see my idea come to life.

The team has decided to name him “Killa.”

A star is born

I have had so much fun creating him I sort of have a mother-like sense of pride when I see his cheesy smile.  His gestation only took 3 days total but that is about how long it takes for a maggot to be born in any backyard trashcan.  Jus keepin’ it real.

I guess all my bitching about how everyone was coming over just to eat of our foods and then ditching us paid off.  We weren’t alone when the New Year was rung in (rang in?  came ringing in? ah - skip it!) My friend Sarah whom before NYE night I really didn’t know outside of church small group stayed and played Wii with us and completely kicked our butt in pretty much every game.  I claim it was because of the couple glasses of wine, she claims it’s just because she rocks.  Maybe a touch of both?  Anyway, we laughed and had a great time.  Then she was so awesome to agree to go get our other friends at a different (obviously not “better”) party since she was completely sober.

Then the party began.  Jerm and I rocked out in the living room.  Turns out my air guitar session was a solo with a back up dancer/singer/moon-walking extraordinaire!  Jim and Courtney were in heaven having finally found a species like themselves and were sure to tie that into Star Trek.

I think we wrapped everything up at around 6:30am?  I know the sun was about to rise over the lake.  Anyway, it was a great time and one that I’m sure will be remembered by all.  You know, with the superlative talking, figuring out the woes of the world, and solving all the world’s problems and all.  You’d be amazed how clear things are at 5 in the morning.

Some things we figured out in our deep discussion were men and women can be friends without something going on.  Marriage is a sacred institution that can be awesome but people mess it up sometimes. Jim makes the most awesome ribs ever.  Team maggot now has a mascot and the mock up is hanging on my refrigerator.  Nikka Costa has the hottest bootay going.  Kids make everything better and harder to do.  And The Who is a rock band imitated by many, equal to none.

Every year my husband and I throw what we would consider a pretty kick-ass New Years party.  Jim, the consummate cook, creates his most yummy creations of shrimp bisque, coconut shrimp, Scully’s chicken wings, steak fondue (with a plethora of dippings to fit every taste) and chocolate fondue for dessert.  After the food has pretty much made even our fat jeans tight, we will play board games, maybe even sing karaoke, and just have a fun time chatting it up with friends.  In the background will be Dick Clark’s Rockin’ New Years Eve (sadly to replaced by Ryan Seacrest - who honestly does an outstanding job).  After the last shrimp has been grazed from the plate and the bottles of wine have been emptied it gets louder, funnier and sillier.  My husband and I have usually a private (although sometimes with an audience - my Dad, the “Yea!” man) air guitar session very similar to this one.  One year Jim got so into his role as Pete Townsend, complete with walking stick air guitar, he came eerily close to plunging his axe through the Marshall Stack he was bumping into.  He was only snapped into reality when I screamed, “Jim stop!” and he saw that he was about to destroy our big screen TV.  Yes, it gets that intense on “stage.”

This year, we thought would be more of the wonderful same but as our guest list starts to dwindle we begin to question wether it was really as great at entertaining as we thought, or other people just started to suck.   I have to believe the latter is true.  At around 7 o’clock we will have a house full of people, gleefully eating of Jim’s creations.  But at around 9 it seems our guest have other (I hear better) parties to go to.  We are the revolving doors of NYE parties.  Or better, the concession stand.  Come, eat our of our bountiful goods and then LEAVE!  No, I’m not bitter.  It’s better this way. Now, no one can stop us from doing a third round of Tommy !

Before Jim and I had children we talked hours and hours about our philosophies on every aspect of parenting to discipline, to sleeping arrangements, to how to have the “bird and the bees” talk.  We both were adamant, we did not want our children in our bed with us.  This is a topic that has been debated so thoroughly that I could scream but that is not what I am hoping to spark with this.  I am simply saying, for me and my family it is the way it is and the way it works.  Each child goes to bed in his or her bed and Jim and i sleep together in our bed.  It was something that was a bit difficult to establish, especially when I was nursing and getting up every 2-4 hours but we stuck to our plan and it has paid off.

Another thing we spoke about thoroughly and agreed on was to maintain our marriage; to cultivate it like a good gardener cultivates his crop.  We purposely take time away from our children to spend eye to eye in conversations and in love.  I want to show my kids what a marriage is supposed to be like.  I want to model a good relationship so that when they are searching for their spouse they do not settle on good enough.  My mother and father have been married for 43 years but I really never felt they were in love with one another.  I remember seeing them hug a few times but there was no real emotion there.  Every child wants their Mom and Dad to be in love (even if you do not want to think about it - yuck!)  I almost settled on good enough before I met my husband.  I thought the love that you read about, the love that is all encompassing, the love that is so strong it can bring you to tears was simply a fantasy.  I am so blessed that I found my husband and the love of my life and know for a fact that that love does indeed exist.  I want…..need….my children to know that.

Our biggest agreement was that we wanted them to know we would die for them.  That they were the most precious, loved and important people in our life.  But, that the world does not revolve around them nor do we.  These parents who run themselves literally ragged because each child is in 3 different extracurricular activities is an example of what I am talking about.  If there is a show on that we want to watch, we will watch it and if the kids want to watch something else, tough.  You either watch it with us (if appropriate) or go down stairs and watch something else.  They are not at the helm of this ship and I know later in life this lesson will serve them well.  They will not enter this world thinking they are owed something from society or the world.  They must earn it.

Now, I have to say, we are in the infancy of this young family and we have passed several of the tests we knew would come.  I obviously do not have all the answers.  If in 25 years I have one in prison and one still living at home I will say “I WAS WRONG” but at least we have a plan.  It is the most important task God has ever give us, or any person, which is to raise these little beings into productive, happy, healthy and independent people.  Without a plan, I fear we would lose course and make bad decisions.  Do not make life altering decisions by the seat of your pants.  Make a plan and stick to it. Now, if I can only head my own suggestions.

We may be screwing our kids up by the methods we have decided to utilize.  If that is true, we will be ROYALLY messing them up since we plan to homeschool.  Those poor poor kids…..lol

I know, I know.  Anyone who takes the time to read this blog is probably getting tired of me writting about my new found passion, getting in shape.  But, I have to say, I am finally seeing a difference.  It is small, probably invisible to the anyone else but to my naked eye I see my belly is BIT smaller.  My energy level is much higher and I don’t get as winded going up and down my stairs here at home.  Small victories but just what I need to stay motivated.

My family and I are heading south to Cape Canaveral in February.  I plan on feeling good enough about my body that I can wear a bathing suit and not feel like I need to put sunscreen on just to avoid the white lines I used to get because even the suns rays couldn’t penetrate to the darkest spaces between my rolls of fat.

Long live me!

To the right of this blog you will see a list of blogs I read (when I should be doing laundry).  Of those blogs one of my absolute favorites is www.dooce.com.  The chick (Heather Armstrong) is just a comedic genius.  I honestly do “LOL” every time I read her blog.  I only wish I could have a smidgen of her writing ability along with the events in life that lend themselves to a good story.  Maybe she is just better able to spot those blog-worthy moments in her life.  Another talent I seem to lack.

Something else that Heather has started is a cool, collaborative work with other Mom bloggers at something called Momversations.  As a slice of moms from all over this big, weird country they create such a quirky, sort of nutty and completely entertaining show.  They talk about relevant topics from baby weight, to celebrity news, sex after baby, and of course their vagina’s.  (Most women who have pushed an eight pound slimy being out of their who-ha in front of a doctor, 2 nurses, her husband, mom, sister, 4 friends, and 2 cousins see this as a not-so-taboo topic.  It becomes community property and thus a valid topic for discussion.)  The short shows reminds me of what me and my girlfriends talk about when we are refereeing our play dates.  These girls are just a lot wittier and quicker on their toes than we are (but they have the opportunity of multiple takes!)

The ladies on this “vlog” (or video blog.  What would you call it?) are truly the clique at the cool kid table in the cafeteria.  You sit with your friends eating your mystery meat just trying to read their lips so you can get the scoop on what is happening.  Then you go back to class and tell your neighbor “Guess what?!  Natalie is getting ready to dump Josh” with cool confidence like it is first hand knowledge.  They are the awesome few who go to Blog Her and people actually know who they are and know their blogs.  If I ever got the opportunity to go to Blog Her it will only be as a star-struck onlooker just hoping to find some niche in which I could plug myself into become a “sorta known” blogger.  But, since I will never go, I will have to settle as a hobbyist who has less page views than www.pongworld.com.

Just go and check it out.  Especially if you are a Mom with sleep deprivation, a weight problem, and a sick sense of humor like myself.

In my quest to look better naked I have started doing several things.  Jim is acting as my and my friend Courtney’s personal trainer.  The type of trainer who just happens to be getting in shape right along with his “clients.”  We do some sort of cardio workout 5 days a week and strength training 3 days.  Weekends off.  First off, let me qualify myself as a “never worked out before” type of girl.  In my previous life, I only ran if someone chased me with a weapon or announced “free cheesecake!”  So, this is no small thing in my life.  I am serious about getting in shape, being healthy, and living a long active life with my husband and kids.  Maybe it is because I turned 30 this year.  I tend to think it has more to do with getting winded from a game of “Ring Around the Rosie” and having to shop in the “Big Women’s” section at the store.  Have you seen those clothes?  I have seen drapes with more flare!

One of the homework assignments the Nazi trainer gave us was to find a motivational picture of what we are working towards.  We will put it in our binder and look at it every day.  As I was scouring the net looking for good pictures of Sharon Case and Vail Bloom (both of The Young and the Restless) I realized, my motivation really has little to do with what I will look like.  Sure, I would love to get back into my size 7 jeans and have someone besides the Hespanic men look twice at me, but honestly, I just want to be able to wake up energized.  I do not want to take a nap in the middle of the day just to make it to bedtime.  I want to be able to play with my kids longer than just a couple of laps of tag.  I want my husband to see me across the room and think, “Damn, she’s hot.”  Oh wait, he already does.  Gotta love a chubby chaser.

I am so blessed to have Jim and Courtney to help motivate me.  They make it fun.  They make it something I actually look foward to.  Well, that and the idea of having the opportunity to have 2 full hours without the kids pulling my hair and screaming for sippies.  Plus, there is prime people watching to be done at a gym.  You have the old men who come around 9 am after just having drank coffee together and gossipping at the White Steamer.  They wear jeans.  Something about that is weird.  Then there are the Mennonite women in their long cotton skirts and doilies on their pony tails.  Our most sought after show is definitely the psycho woman who goes 10 mile and hour on the elliptical machine.  Good fun.

Today was weigh in day.  I have to admit, I was shocked that 1.) I weighed as much as two jr. high children 2.) I weighed in front of God and everybody right there in the gym 3.) I didn’t really care.  I look forward to the future when I can see that my goals are becoming a reality.

Oh, and I have to do my homework so here are my motivational pictures:

Sharon Case

Vail Bloom

But honestly, I would be perfectly peachy to have the body I had back in the day.  I am guessing having two children has made my hips physically wider but I can deal with that.  Jim says the hippier the better.  That’s good.  Makes me want long hair again too.  My friend Elizabeth who is a hair dresser says big 80’s hair is coming back so a perm may be in my future.  I know that will make Jim happy too.

Yea, that's me....sniff

Why didn't I just maintain??

So, being as I don’t have enough to do with raising a 2.5 and 1.5 year old child, going to the gym every day, keeping my house in order, etc etc etc I thought, “Hey, it would be fun to try my hand at CSS (cascading style sheets - Google it) and construct my own blog theme?”  Two days into this and I am starting to think this may have been a bit overzealous on my part.  I have found a theme I mostly like but would like to tweak a few things.  Easy enough, I thought.  Hard work is done for me, I say.  Good God, it took me an hour to move the little “contact” envelope to the left and the “subscribe” to the right so they could be seen and not hidden in the banner.  I have to admit, the sense of accomplishment I felt once I did, was great.  I shouted across the room, “Yes!  I rule!”  Spooking my husband who was lost in his own Internet obsession.

Now there are only a few things I’m looking to change.  But, they can come later and if they never do, so be it.  I just wanted to get back to the real fun of blogging and that’s actually blogging.  Several new developments have happened in my little boring life but I’ll save those for a later post.  Nothing earth shattering but it has altered my life a bit.

Stay tuned and let me know what you think of the new digs!

Just an observation.  I have the privilege to be friends with several hip and tech savvy preachers.  They have Facebook accounts which also means they update their status and profile picture.  I’ve noticed, as did Jim, they love not only the sitcom “The Office” but more specifically the character Dwight Schrute.  I too am a fan of the funniest, non-animated show on television staring the hilarious Steve Carell  .  But, it seems to be a bit of an obsession with these guys.  It’s hilariously entertaining!  Anyone else make these same observations?  Just curious if this is a geographical thing or a theological thing.