Browsing the archives for the motherhood tag.

Turning 30 and proud

I am blessed, Infertility, Mr. Tolerable, My kids, My life, Parenting

The 18th of this month will mark the anniversary of my entrance into this world.  I remember every year on my birthday Mom telling me the story of my birth and the exciting happenings that soon followed.  If she forgot, I would be sure to remind her.  I am the youngest and the only girl.  The gap between my closest brother and myself is 7 years.  I think you know where I am going with this….I was spoiled beyond measure or reason.  I had a happy-go-lucky childhood.  I had the best Mom in the world and it is because of her I am the mother I am today.  I had the best roll model anyone could have.  From birth to about 18 I was a happy girl who knew what she wanted in and out of life.  My how things can change.

I remember being a youthfully stupid 20 year old and thinking how far away 30 seemed.  I would look at “grown ups” around me and think, “30 year old people are just so…..old.”  They had mortgages, jobs, kids, responsibilities and took everything seriously.  I didn’t want to be that way when I turned 30.  I think I did ALL of them except maybe the last.  But, honestly, if this past year is any indication of what my 30’s are going to be like this is the most awesome time of my life.  These are the good ol’ days.

When I was turning 20 I was dating Mr. Good Guy and confused about where my path would lead me.  I was lost, confused, sad and empty.  College was just something to pass the time.  I look at it now as 4 expensive years of extended high school.  Of course, when looking at pictures of my 135 lbs self and can’t help but think, “That would be nice.”  The body is really the only thing I would like to go back to.  But, I know I have “spread out” as my dad would say, due to carrying two beautiful children for 9 months.  The stretch marks, saggy boobs, and big butt are just a few of the rights of passage of being what I am today; a mom.  My dream.  I know some of the Gloria Steinem’s out there say that I am not living to my full potential.  That women for centuries have been fighting so I would not have to “lesson” myself and stay home barefoot and pregnant.  I agree with part of that.  Women have been fighting so that all women have the choice of what they want to do with their lives.  I choose, and relish, being a stay-at-home mother and wife. It’s a little out-of-date.  Probably not hip or cool.  But, I love it.  And, just to toot my own horn a bit, I’m pretty durn good at it.  My husband often tells me I am the most natural mother he’s ever seen.  To that I answer, “nothing I’ve ever done has ever felt so right.”  It’s like breathing.

And to think that there were several years when I did not know if I would ever to realize my dream.  It took over my every thought and prayer.  A commercial, a song, a pregnant lady at the grocery store were all reminders of what I did not have.  My mid 20’s were full of doubt, anger, frustration and sadness because of the infertility.  I was so happy to have found my soul mate.  Until I met Mr. Tolerable I thought the love that songs are written about and movies portray was something made up.  As soon as I meet my soul mate I understood what love was.  But, there was a big piece of the puzzle missing; a family.  It was a depressing and lonely time but I learned so much about myself and what was really important that I know I am blessed for the struggles we faced.

If there was one thing I would like to go back to during that time it would be the quiet times with just Mr. Tolerable and I.  The trips we went on.  The laughter we had as a young couple with no children to chase after, keep us awake at night, or discipline.

But the 30’s, so far, seem so wonderful I just want to press the pause button on the dial of life.  My children are old enough to not need me 24 hours a day but young enough to need me most of the time.  My best friend and husband is working from home and spending so much more time with us.  We have a cute house by the park in a nice little town.  I have great friends, a wonderful family, and an ever growing faith in Jesus.

I am in the process of getting back that 135 lbs body from my 20’s so there will be nothing from that time I want to go back to.  I am about 3 weeks into “Project: Bringing Sexy Back.”  Here is my semi before picture.  Wish me luck!  Happy Birthday and Life to me!

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Hello, my name is Me

Just my opinion, Mr. Tolerable, My life, Parenting, Random Stuff

I have been at my Mother and Father’s house for about a week along with Mr. Tolerable and the kiddos.  It was sort of like an extended vacation since the hubby is sans employment at the moment.  We have never really had the opportunity to join in on the weekly Friday night bon fire parties that spontaneously ignite when the fire does.  It would drive Jim crazy to hear about all the fun that was had in his absence since he was the sucka who had to get up and go to work every stinking Saturday and Sunday.  Well, he now is even more pissed about it because we had so much fun these past few weekends.  I laughed so hard one night I think I counted 3 times I had to use my inhaler (the measure by which I decide how good of a time I had).  My brother cooked a brisket and we ate Aces High Corn on the cob.   Then we all stood around as my brother cooked up his second try at home-brewed beer.  It’s so neat to see everything that goes into it – the levels have to be just right.  Add the hops “NOW”. Check the temp often then make sure you get the temperature down FAST so it doesn’t get an infection.  I learned so much just standing there and the men just seemed mesmerized by the whole process.  I lost interest and found my way to where the women were collected but once someone brought up menopause I found myself back at the beer garden with the men.

One of the things I worried about when I was pregnant with my children was that I would cease to be and I would totally and wholly become a Mother – forgetting all the things I previously enjoyed.  Turning into those cliche over sized SUV-with-the-little-stick-family-on-the-back-window-driving Mommies.  It seems that I have successfully done both!  I have little problem leaving my kids with my Mother for several days while I go and get my redneck groove on camping at a Nascar event.  I love the feeling of getting my kiddos fed, bathed and safely tucked in bed.  Then turn the monitor on to go out back and sit around a fire-drinking, laughing and cutting up until as late as midnight (aren’t you impressed?) LOL.  But, on a regular Monday morning if you were behind me on the road as I make my trek to my normal playdate you would see this picture on the back glass of my Excursion.  So, any of you preggos out there reading this, or those unfortunate women out there who have let themselves be engulfed by the wonderful envelope known as children, I am proof that it can be done.  You can still be a sexy woman with a good social life, great sex life, AND a fantastic mother.  Don’t buy into the lie that in order to be a good Mom you have you stop all things about you.  You are still your husband’s woman and lover.  Your bed should be the location for risque acts of love not only a social landing point for everyone in the house.  You are still your friend’s choice for a dinner, coffee, or a good laugh.  You are still you.  And thank God, I am still me.

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  • Why I Write this Stuff

    My children called me Bobby when they were toddlers due to not being able to prounounce "Mommy." They are now 7 and 8 years old and I am Mommy. But my real name is Mandy. I just do this so I can keep in touch with the REAL me. Being a Bobby is a dream I thought I may never realize and I do not take it for granted. I homeschool (more specifically unschool) my two children and it's easy to lose yourself in the tasts of the day. I just want to make sure that after 19 or so years have passed,and my kids have moved out, I'm not stuck looking in the mirror and squinting in hopes of seeing Mandy again.