This is your Mommy….or your Bobby….and I just wanted to write you a letter that I hope some day you will read and know just how much I love you.  You, Sissy and I just got back from a craft day at the park.  It consisted of decorating sugar cookies.  Making punch (Hawaiian punch + soda water) and making candy necklaces.  I don’t know why I continue to try to make you do things you obviously think are silly and not fun.  I just keep thinking, “Maybe this time he will sit still and actually do this.” and of course I am wrong.  I just want you to know I am trying to do the best I can for you.  If what you need right now is just to run out all this energy and explore new things, I am going to make it my mission to make sure that happens.  I will turn down things (for now) that require sitting and being passive for things that are more involved and active.  You are such a smart little boy and I have to remember you are a different human being from me.  It is hard for Bobby to remember that sometimes.  I feel like you are a part of me….just an extension of myself and am shown otherwise time after time.

I love your personality, your hugs, your smile, your voice, and especially how you sing “Twinkle Twinkle wittle sta!”  I will do my best to make you into a good man.  A man any woman would be blessed to have as her husband.  I will strive to create in you a love of God, learning and family.  I will mess up….that is a given…but know that every minute of every day I am TRYING to make you the best of who you are….whatever that is.  I want to help you find your gift.  The gift that was given to you by God and develop that so that in your life and work you can feel fulfilled and happy.  If that happens I will feel that I have done my job and done it well.

I’m sorry if I get frustrated when you run from me.  I’m sorry if I spank you and you don’t know what the spanking is for.  I try to explain to you that you can’t run from me or the “cars will get you” but wonder if you just think I’m just mean sometimes.  I hope as an adult you can look me in my wrinkled eyes and say, “Thanks Mom….you did a great job and I have had a wonderful upbringing.”  If and when that day happens, it will be the best day of my life.

I love you my little Jack Jack.

Forever Your Biggest Fan.

Bobby

I’ve lived in this little, sleepy, wonderful town for almost 5 years and just last summer I made what I would call  “life long friends.”  Not that I didn’t try before now but it’s just not as easy as I remember it in school.  Remember the days on the playground where you would see a new face and see that person as a potential playmate?  A wonderful new adventure to be bestowed upon?  There were no thoughts of rejection. There were no fears.  Just happiness met with fun.  I wish it could be like that once the reality of human relationships is learned.  But, we all know, it’s not that easy any more.  I thought once I found my husband the nervous, “Will they like me?” feeling waned.  But, no, it is just as hard when looking for a true friend. One in which you can just pick up the phone just to chat.  One that you can call just to say, “I’m bored, let’s do something” and hear a cheerful, “Ok!” in response.  One you can count on.

First is the daunting question; where do I find such a person?  It’s not like I can just go to the park and approach a woman, is it?  I know! I’ll join every social club, group and support clique I can find.  That surely will yeild results.  Or maybe just someone I see at the grocery store?  What happened in my life is all of the above.  I met Tess at a breastfeeding support group at my local hospital.  It only met once a month and it is really hard to even learn peoples’ names in that short amount of time.  Then I would see her at Wal-Mart with her kids.  I would say “hi” in passing but then would be like, “what was her name?”  The response in her eyes said she had the same questions.  Then I saw her at the park.  Again, “Hi” we would say but never anything more.  Finally after months of this I finally got up the courage and started a conversation with her and admitted I didn’t remember her name.  The relief left her face as she admitted the same.  From that point on we have been great friends.  We had more chemistry from the start than I had found with many of the other “friends” I had made at church or other areas.  Our kids are best friends as well and we know we can count on each other for a laugh, something to do on a boring Monday, and a sweat tea from McD’s.

Tess and her kids

I have since learned that Tess is a friend in which I can always count on an honest answer from.  The woman knows everything about everything!  Seriously! If I mention how I have a birds nest above my deck she knows how to keep that from happening (plastic snakes).  How to keep flies away at an outside picnic?  (Ziploc bag full of water with a penny in it setting on the table).  How to make homemade play-dough?  How to knit?  Where to find the best deals on just about anything?  How to make a DVD of your kids’ pictures?  What are the good shows on TV?  How to keep a house clean AND have two children and a husband?  The list goes on and on.  It cracks me up when I hear her say, “I just feel like I don’t have it together.”  I look at her and think, “If you had it any more together you’d be mayor!”

Meet Courtney

It was through Tess I met Courtney.  A shy woman with so much unknown beauty.  If she could just see what everyone else sees, she would be so much happier.  A woman so shy she avoids situations she really loves.  Yet, everyone around her is thinking, “What does SHE have to be worried about?  She beautiful, sweet, smart, kind, a good mother, and a wonderful sense of humor.”  But, inside of her she thinks people are thinking, “Look at her, she’s gained weight.” or something of the kind.  This girl can make me laugh so hard.  She doesn’t even try most of the time but her mind works a little different than mine so she’s always surprising me with what she says and I love it!  She’s crazy in love with her kids (like all good mothers are).  She keeps the cleanest house I’ve ever seen.  To a fault at times probably but that’s who she is.

These two women aren’t perfect which makes them perfect friends for me.