Browsing the archives for the My life category.

Rule of 3 – observations of female relationships

Just my opinion, My life, Uncategorized

All my life I have always had many friends.  But like most people, there are few people I would consider my “best friends.”  I have three best friends whom I’ve known since before puberty.  They are the ones that were there during all the pain and wonder of middle and high school.  They were the ones who helped me through first loves, break ups and learning what it meant to be a “woman.”  And I helped them through the same processes.  These are the women whom I asked to stand up with me at my wedding and they asked me.   Together we make 4.  Throughout our adolescence and into adulthood it was a constant rotating of who was sort of “out” of the circle.  It seemed if really we were a rotating circle of 3 with the players changing out of 4 people.  Many times I was the one on the outside of the circle.  As a young woman this would confuse and hurt me but as I’ve grown older, gotten married, had kids and lived a full life I’ve found that this is OK with me now. My role, so-to-speak, is different than that of the other girls in the group.  I know they love me and I love them but I’m just not in the intense circle of life with them.  And that’s OK.  I have absolutely no hurt feelings.  I know if at any time I needed someone in the middle of the night I could call any of them and they would be here in a drop of a hat.  And I think they know that is true for me as well.  One phone call and I will move heaven and Earth to be there for them.  That’s friendship.

As I have moved about the state, I have found myself trying to find new circles of friends.  Once again I found that the “rule of three” in a group of women holds true.  One short stop in Washington proved this true again.  Two women can be wonderful, best friends with absolutely no problems.  Three is OK and with little conflict and a good harmony.  But, throw that 4th woman in and for some reason shit starts flying.  Three team up against one or three stick together and leave one out.  And what’s weird is that “odd woman out” role changes depending on the situation.  Maybe when it comes to how you raise your children woman A,B,C are the circle and D is just out of her mind and doesn’t spank her kids. Or maybe it’s housekeeping.  B,C,D see eye to eye but that woman A?!  She lives in a sty (I mean have you SEEN her kitchen?).  Then maybe on marriage or husbands is A,B,D with C having an asshole of a husband.  How can she put up with him?!  It’s the strangest thing I have ever seen and I KEEP seeing it.

I am now seeing this in my own daughter’s life!  She’s old enough now to have sleepovers.  I will watch them almost as a case study.  4 girls is a recipe for disaster and tears almost every time.  Someone is left out of the game.  Someone doesn’t have a crown to wear.  And it’s always ONE that is out.  Never two against two.  Always three against one.  As a child this is terrible.  As an adult, until you realize what it is, it can still hurt.

If you find yourself as the odd woman out in a group of 4 friends, take heart.  Next week it will be Susie who’s out.  Just know your role and wait for your turn on the roller coaster.

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Some things change….

Funny crap, Mr. Tolerable, My life, Parenting, Politics

As I am rapidly approaching my 34th bday I am aware of several changes that have happened in and to me as I age:
1.) In the past year I have begun to not only eat but love potato salad, deviled eggs and turnip kraut. All things that as a youngster I thought were the most disgusting things known to the human pallet.

2.) I like Rod Stewart’s voice.  There I said it.  This happened today.  My entire life I have always said the likes of Michael Bolton, Rod Stewart and Bruce Springstein are tantamount to a sick cat with laryngitis   Today?  Something happened.  No idea…..Maybe it’s that whole when-you-get-old-you-go-deaf thing.  Gotta be it.

3.)  I now believe the party is NOT worth the hangover.  Man, that took a while to learn but sometimes, like giving birth, I think nature blocks out the bad parts and you only remember the glorious moments.  Like when you simultaneously solved all the Earth’s problem, smoked the wrong side of a cigarette, and became a bartender at Coyote Ugly (in your friend’s basement).

4.)  Midnight is late.  For the past 3 years the “Twilight” movies have all come out on my birthday or within days of it.  Also for the past 3 years, I have gone to the midnight showing.  This year?  Going to the 7pm showing and hoping to be home and in bed before midnight.  Life’s just too damn short to miss out on a good night’s sleep under my electric blanket.

5.) I like cats….suddenly.  I have a black Tom cat that I worked for WEEKS to tame (living out in the country there are ferrel cats under every shed).  He is now my baby and I actually buy cat food for the thing.  And I cleaned out a litter box for the neighborhood cat who I kept in my garage while she was pregnant and with nursing kittens so I could take care of them and hopefully tame and adopt said kittens out.  Next I’ll be getting “Momma Mia” fixed (although it appears as if the whore is pregnant again but I digress).  If asked, I would still say I’m a dog person but, cats are pretty stinking cool.

6.) This one is something that’s just come full circle.  As a teenager and person in my early 20’s I could give a rat’s petunia about politics.  Then, as I entered into my late 20’s I became very interested and vested in belief’s and parties.  I took life so serious and had it all figured out.  Now?  Meh.  I have no clue and am very aware that neither do “they.”

7.) I really don’t give a shit what people think of me. OK, maybe a little bit.  I mean, no one wants to leave the legacy of being a bitch.  But I’ve come a long way from the girl/woman who’s every single word, act and belief was tinged with “What will people think?”  I try my best to be a good Christian; to be a good friend; to be a good daughter, wife, mother, niece, cousin, aunt.  Try as I may, there will still be those who judge, belittle or talk.  But, I am very happy with the number of people in my life who do love and accept me.  If I can add to that number, great!  But if not one single other person joins in that crowd…I’m hunky dorey.

Now, it’s not as if all things about me have changed and I tend to think these things will remain constant well into my golden years.

1.) An attractive, fit and confident man with a warm smile and nice ass is a sight to behold and a vision of which I will NEVER, EVER grow tired.  Blanche knew what was up….

2.)   My husband is #1

3.) The most important job I have in this whole world is to instill love, acceptance, independence, the belief of Christ and confidence in my two children. Period.  Everything else is subscript.

4.)  “Lumberjack” by Jackyl and “Black Betty” by Ram Jam still kick some serious ass.  Definitely a constant.

5.)  No one can make me honk like Brittany Freeman and Elizabeth Howard.  Those two together?  Faggetaboutit.

6.) On that note – I still hate my laugh.  But, it does seem to bring joy to those around me so it’s not all so bad 😉

On to the future.  May the next 34 years be full laughter, love and sexy men in Levi’s.


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The new and improved JACKS!

My kids, My life, Parenting

A while back I posted an entry called “That’s a terrible thing to say.” In it I vented about my frustration with my then 3 year old.   But, it’s been a year and WHAT  a year it’s been.

So much has happened that I would like to make sure I write about.  After the whole “getting kicked out of preschool” incident and the escalating anger and behavioral issues we decided we needed help.  Help learning how to parent this special boy.  So, through COUNTLESS hours of research and calling various doctors, child psychologists I found the perfect place for us to start.

Ball State University Psychoeducational Diagnostic Intervention Clinic.  There was a 6 month waiting list but because all our other options were going to cost thousands of dollars we went with this one.   Plus, this clinic does both IQ testing for giftedness AND behavioral testing as well.  The perfect fit. It was a weekend long testing, very thorough and Jackson had a blast.  It was just games to him.   They tested his IQ as well as for behavioral and emotional conditions. After the testing we had to wait another 3 weeks to get our results.

What we suspected was confirmed to us:  He’s a genius and he has ADHD.  Well, at least we had someone impartial and professional telling us so.  We were given parenting tips, diet changes and also suggestions for medication.  We researched, prayed, talked with our pediatrician (who we love and trust) and decided that to give Jackson all the chances he can in life to succeed he needed a little help.

I’m sure there will be those who are so anti-medication who are also equally uneducated but who have hearts of gold who will say we are just doping him up and that’s why he’s “good.”  That’s fine, you can say those things.  And then go back to your home and do what you see fit with your family.  As for me and my family, we will do the same.

Fast forward to today (a year and a half later).  Jackson is a pleasure to be around.  Learning new things in leaps and bounds.  Reading at a 1st grade level.  He’s in a new preschool and doing wonderfully!!!  At our first PTO meeting with Jackson’s teacher (who we told NOTHING to about his previous preschool experience, his IQ, nor his diagnosis or meds) she had nothing but glowing things to say about him.  Jim and I just sat there close to tears as we let her go on and explain how he is polite, highly intelligent, and fun he is.  A pleasure to have in her class!  Then, like a bubble about to burst, we let her know how excited we were by what she was telling us and why.  Poor woman, she must have thought we were nuts b/c Jim and I  talked over each other; explained where we had come from, what we had been through and what the testing had told us.

Just a few months ago he got an award.  I think the picture says it all:



This is the little boy that Jackson was all along.  He was just unable to let him out b/c he had so much going on in that big ol’ brain of his he didn’t know what to do with himself.  He is not a zombie on his medicine, he is himself.  The way he WANTS TO BE.  Able to focus, able to think, able to communicate his thoughts and feelings and, able to listen and control himself.

He loves school and can’t wait for kindergarten.  We haven’t totally ruled out homeschooling but for now it’s just on the shelf.  Let things develop and see what happens.  I, for one, am THRILLED to see!

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I’ve become the opposite of a hoarder.

My life

There are some great programs on the network A&E.  My personal favorite is “Intervention.” Recently a new show was introduced called “Hoarders.”   It follows two individuals who suffer from OCD and anxiety that is centered in the “stuff” of their lives.  One collected animals to the point that she was facing prison time for animal cruelty because she had more cats than she even knew she had and they were dying of starvation.  Yet, she loved them dearly.  Another hoarded TRASH.  Honest to goodness garbage.  Others it is their treasures from their childhood or dead mother.

Watching these shows usually makes my skin crawl at the environment these people exist in.  You can’t really say they “live in” because a human being can’t really live in that state.  They merely exist.

I am pretty sure that at some level my father is a honest-to-goodness hoarder.  My Mom keeps his disease at bay by pitching things when he is at work. LOL.  The man can not bring himself to throw away an empty pack of cigarrettes.  He places them on the table DIRECTLY above the trash can but that extra 12 inches space seems entirely too large for him to cross.  So, my Mom throws it away when she sees it laying there.  It is that way with pretty much everything else.  I dread and hope I never see the day when Mom passes before Dad and he is in that house alone.  I am POSITIVE his home will look like those poor, sad people on “Hoarders.”  And what’s even more sad is who do you think is going to be sorry sap that has to go in and try to clear a path for my father to go to the bathroom?   Yea, that’s right.  Me.  The only daughter.  (a position that has SOO many perks but also so many draw backs).

With all of this said, it seems I got the opposite of the hoarding gene.  I can not stand clutter.  And it seems the older I get the more I seem to “see” the clutter.  Recently I have been a woman on a mission.  We are about to have a yard sale to “declutter” our home as well as make some extra dollars.  I am pretty sure I am probably selling stuff that at some point down the road I will wish I still had. But, I do not care. It is just STUFF.

The most precious things in life aren’t things!

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Sick. Sick. Sick!

My kids, My life

For 5 days and 6 nights I have been surrounded by sick people.  Even worse, those people are people within my house.  And even worse, those people are the little people I hold so dear.  Which means I have been sneezed, cried, climbed, and puked on. Although one of my God given gifts is empathy I have a hard time having sympathy for sick people.  Especially when I am the one who is expected to jump every time someone says “Mommy.”  I had two babies a year and four days apart.  They are a month from being 2 and 3 years old but this week has been more draining and more taxing on my psyche and nerves than when Alex was a new born and Jackson was a year old.  I was blessed with sleepers (more or less).  So, I have never really had to go through all the sleepless nights or colicky stuff.  Thank God.

It is due to this past week I have seriously, and honestly been considering (along with my husband of course) about being done, fin Ito, finished, over, and completed having kids.  I have always thought one more child was in the future.  I have had the vision of my little brunette, brown-eyed little boy named Max.  But, after this last event I wonder I am cut out to be a mom of more than the two I have. And even those two, I wonder if they didn’t get a raw deal getting me.  I just feel like throwing myself through a window or fleeing like a thief in the night.  I am a woman who needs her sleep.  Ask anyone who knows me.  So, these nights of 2-3 hours of interrupted sleep for the past 5 nights is causing me to go a little batty (left eye twitches).

These little people, they don’t really know sick etiquette.  The idea of covering their mouth when they sneeze so Mighty Putty does not pelt from their nostrils?  Does not occur to them.  Even when Mom is only inches from their face.  Evidently, just crying seems to be the only thing they can do to tell you what is wrong.  Even when they can talk!  Jackson knows his planets, ABC’s, can count to 30, etc but try to get him to tell you what’s wrong when it’s 3 am and he is upset.  I just go down the checklist just like I used to when he was a baby.

Alex will wake up wringing wet but try and change her clothes and you will hear something of the same decibel as a fire truck siren.  Seriously, it sounds like I am beating the poor child.

Think anyone will take care of me IF I get sick?  I may just go to Mommy’s house LOL.  I guess we never get to clock out of this job huh? LOL.

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Plan to work and work the plan

Homeschooling, Just my opinion, Mr. Tolerable, My kids, My life, Parenting, Uncategorized

Before Jim and I had children we talked hours and hours about our philosophies on every aspect of parenting to discipline, to sleeping arrangements, to how to have the “bird and the bees” talk.  We both were adamant, we did not want our children in our bed with us.  This is a topic that has been debated so thoroughly that I could scream but that is not what I am hoping to spark with this.  I am simply saying, for me and my family it is the way it is and the way it works.  Each child goes to bed in his or her bed and Jim and i sleep together in our bed.  It was something that was a bit difficult to establish, especially when I was nursing and getting up every 2-4 hours but we stuck to our plan and it has paid off.

Another thing we spoke about thoroughly and agreed on was to maintain our marriage; to cultivate it like a good gardener cultivates his crop.  We purposely take time away from our children to spend eye to eye in conversations and in love.  I want to show my kids what a marriage is supposed to be like.  I want to model a good relationship so that when they are searching for their spouse they do not settle on good enough.  My mother and father have been married for 43 years but I really never felt they were in love with one another.  I remember seeing them hug a few times but there was no real emotion there.  Every child wants their Mom and Dad to be in love (even if you do not want to think about it – yuck!)  I almost settled on good enough before I met my husband.  I thought the love that you read about, the love that is all encompassing, the love that is so strong it can bring you to tears was simply a fantasy.  I am so blessed that I found my husband and the love of my life and know for a fact that that love does indeed exist.  I want…..need….my children to know that.

Our biggest agreement was that we wanted them to know we would die for them.  That they were the most precious, loved and important people in our life.  But, that the world does not revolve around them nor do we.  These parents who run themselves literally ragged because each child is in 3 different extracurricular activities is an example of what I am talking about.  If there is a show on that we want to watch, we will watch it and if the kids want to watch something else, tough.  You either watch it with us (if appropriate) or go down stairs and watch something else.  They are not at the helm of this ship and I know later in life this lesson will serve them well.  They will not enter this world thinking they are owed something from society or the world.  They must earn it.

Now, I have to say, we are in the infancy of this young family and we have passed several of the tests we knew would come.  I obviously do not have all the answers.  If in 25 years I have one in prison and one still living at home I will say “I WAS WRONG” but at least we have a plan.  It is the most important task God has ever give us, or any person, which is to raise these little beings into productive, happy, healthy and independent people.  Without a plan, I fear we would lose course and make bad decisions.  Do not make life altering decisions by the seat of your pants.  Make a plan and stick to it. Now, if I can only head my own suggestions.

We may be screwing our kids up by the methods we have decided to utilize.  If that is true, we will be ROYALLY messing them up since we plan to homeschool.  Those poor poor kids…

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Birthday Bitch

Funny crap, I am blessed, Mr. Tolerable, My life, Random Stuff

That’s me and I wear that crown proudly.  Last night I celebrated my 30th birthday with 30 of my closest friends.  The pre-party was a local (and yummy) Mexican restaurant.  I got some pretty risque gifts like “Stripper Pills – release your inner pole dancer” and “Glow in the Dark Lubricant.”  Practical gifts like hand sanitizer and Tide To Go Pen.  There were “grown up” presents like a cute pair of angels from my friend Tess and my Mom got me fleece sheets (ahhhhhh).   And a silly gift that was used all night: a shiny pink and silver crown that read, “Birthday Bitch.”   (thanks Joanna!!)  Yes, I wore it the entire night.

I think the gifts I received are what I am and who I have become over the past 30 years.  I’m lighthearted and love to laugh.  I tend to enjoy the between the sheets athletics with my husband.  I am practical and have grown up.  But, not to the detriment of just relaxing and having a good time.  In my last post I spoke about how I didn’t want to take things or myself too seriously when I turned 30 like it seemed so many I knew had done.  I hope I managed to walk that fine line between being a responsible, bill paying, mother and wife and a fun-loving, social drinking, always laughing, woman who loves life and those she chooses to share it with.

I had such a wonderful time last night.  The perfect way to spend my 30th birthday and I thank my Mr. Tolerable for throwing me a wonderful party.  The friends, wine, karaoke and chicken wings were all fantastic and you are the love of my life now at 30 and forevermore.

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Turning 30 and proud

I am blessed, Infertility, Mr. Tolerable, My kids, My life, Parenting

The 18th of this month will mark the anniversary of my entrance into this world.  I remember every year on my birthday Mom telling me the story of my birth and the exciting happenings that soon followed.  If she forgot, I would be sure to remind her.  I am the youngest and the only girl.  The gap between my closest brother and myself is 7 years.  I think you know where I am going with this….I was spoiled beyond measure or reason.  I had a happy-go-lucky childhood.  I had the best Mom in the world and it is because of her I am the mother I am today.  I had the best roll model anyone could have.  From birth to about 18 I was a happy girl who knew what she wanted in and out of life.  My how things can change.

I remember being a youthfully stupid 20 year old and thinking how far away 30 seemed.  I would look at “grown ups” around me and think, “30 year old people are just so…..old.”  They had mortgages, jobs, kids, responsibilities and took everything seriously.  I didn’t want to be that way when I turned 30.  I think I did ALL of them except maybe the last.  But, honestly, if this past year is any indication of what my 30’s are going to be like this is the most awesome time of my life.  These are the good ol’ days.

When I was turning 20 I was dating Mr. Good Guy and confused about where my path would lead me.  I was lost, confused, sad and empty.  College was just something to pass the time.  I look at it now as 4 expensive years of extended high school.  Of course, when looking at pictures of my 135 lbs self and can’t help but think, “That would be nice.”  The body is really the only thing I would like to go back to.  But, I know I have “spread out” as my dad would say, due to carrying two beautiful children for 9 months.  The stretch marks, saggy boobs, and big butt are just a few of the rights of passage of being what I am today; a mom.  My dream.  I know some of the Gloria Steinem’s out there say that I am not living to my full potential.  That women for centuries have been fighting so I would not have to “lesson” myself and stay home barefoot and pregnant.  I agree with part of that.  Women have been fighting so that all women have the choice of what they want to do with their lives.  I choose, and relish, being a stay-at-home mother and wife. It’s a little out-of-date.  Probably not hip or cool.  But, I love it.  And, just to toot my own horn a bit, I’m pretty durn good at it.  My husband often tells me I am the most natural mother he’s ever seen.  To that I answer, “nothing I’ve ever done has ever felt so right.”  It’s like breathing.

And to think that there were several years when I did not know if I would ever to realize my dream.  It took over my every thought and prayer.  A commercial, a song, a pregnant lady at the grocery store were all reminders of what I did not have.  My mid 20’s were full of doubt, anger, frustration and sadness because of the infertility.  I was so happy to have found my soul mate.  Until I met Mr. Tolerable I thought the love that songs are written about and movies portray was something made up.  As soon as I meet my soul mate I understood what love was.  But, there was a big piece of the puzzle missing; a family.  It was a depressing and lonely time but I learned so much about myself and what was really important that I know I am blessed for the struggles we faced.

If there was one thing I would like to go back to during that time it would be the quiet times with just Mr. Tolerable and I.  The trips we went on.  The laughter we had as a young couple with no children to chase after, keep us awake at night, or discipline.

But the 30’s, so far, seem so wonderful I just want to press the pause button on the dial of life.  My children are old enough to not need me 24 hours a day but young enough to need me most of the time.  My best friend and husband is working from home and spending so much more time with us.  We have a cute house by the park in a nice little town.  I have great friends, a wonderful family, and an ever growing faith in Jesus.

I am in the process of getting back that 135 lbs body from my 20’s so there will be nothing from that time I want to go back to.  I am about 3 weeks into “Project: Bringing Sexy Back.”  Here is my semi before picture.  Wish me luck!  Happy Birthday and Life to me!


Let’s lighten things up a bit, shall we?

My kids, My life, Random Stuff

People who know me, know I am a goofball.  But from time to time I like to get serious. The last two blog posts were my serious side…now I’d like to get back to the goof side.  It’s a lot more fun.

My goal this year is to buy ALL my Christmas gifts online or through a catalog.  I wish I could say it was because I want to avoid the big crowds at the stores. But, in all honesty, I just LOVE getting packages delivered to me.  When the UPS, DHL or FedEx truck goes by and doesn’t stop at my door, I feel a level of sadness I’m sure  is unhealthy for an adult to have over something so trivial.  And when I hear the screech of the breaks on that big brown truck I rush down the stairs like I am meeting a long lost relative.  The mixed feelings I have when I have missed the truck and have a package on my porch are, I’m sure, certifiable.  It just does not bring the rush that having a packaged handed to me from the guy in the ugly brown shorts affords.

Just yesterday my friend, Ben, from the UPS truck made a stop at my home to deliver a LARGE box. I knew instantly what it was.  My baby girl’s Christmas present.  I found a large lot on ebay that I could not pass up. There is not a little girl I know who would not love to get this:

Big Lot of Fisher Price Sweet Streets Buildings, People and accessories

Big Lot of Fisher Price Sweet Streets Buildings, People and accessories

I am pretty confident that I am compensating for my childhood dreams of having an elaborate dollhouse with all the perfect furniture and rugs.  I had a great childhood but there were two things I never got that I always wanted: a dollhouse and tap/ballet lessons.  I cannot wait until Christmas arrives and she walks down the hallway and sees this miniature city waiting for her little hands to manipulate.  I only wish Santa would not get all the glory but that is the selfish side of me rearing it’s ugly head.

Next year?  Dance classes…


I’m going to brag on my husband a bit.

I am blessed, Jim the Tolerable, Mr. Tolerable, My kids, My life, The job hunt

If you are in a marriage where you feel like your husband would rather spend time with the dog/golf club/TV/car/bar/buddies/his right hand than you – skip this entry because I have so much bragging to do on my guy that it would make even the most “happily married” person gag.   You’ve been fully warned.

If you have been reading my posts you know that recently my husband left his job at a new home builder and has decided to work from home as a professional handicapper/horse player.  I know most women would cringe at the idea of their husband being home.  Honestly, I wondered how we would fare being in a confined space for an extended period of time.  Turns out – I NEVER WANT HIM TO GET A REAL JOB AGAIN.

His chosen career allots for plenty of time to do other things around the house.  He creates his own “honey do” list and works on it with vigor.  Example one: I asked him this past summer to help me transform our downstairs living room (AKA the place where we pile the clean clothes as it waits……and waits for me to come down and fold it) into a play room for the kids.  The wintertime in Southern Indiana can get rather mundane to put it nicely and it would be so nice to have somewhere else to go.  Plus, play dates would hopefully be a BIT quieter and more fun for the kids as well as the Moms.  Well, my Mr. Tolerable worked his cute little tail away for the past 2 days moving furniture, a Big Screen TV, rewiring the TV so we have a VCR AND a DVD player, removing doors, and vacuuming.  I didn’t remind him, I didn’t harp at him.  He listened when I said it the first time over 4 months ago and just did it.  How many men do that?  He has also been “wiping the rest of this place into shape” as he like to put it.  Hanging new binds, measuring our back door to be replaced, organizing his offfice, mowing, grocery shopping, doing laundry (since he is downstairs anyway, where the machine is – his words, not mine) ordering a new fridge and me a new Palm Centro (AWESOME).  I just keep saying, “You spoil me so bad!”  His response is always the manly, “Cuz you sex me up baby.”  Followed with either a butt squeeze or a boob honk.  What can I say, he’s still a man.

Jackson and Alex absolutely adore their Daddy.  It has been so awesome watching their relationships grow in just a few months.  They now get to see Daddy anytime they want.  Yesterday morning Jackson made his Daddy blue berry muffins (with a touch of help from Mommy).  He was so proud of himself and couldn’t wait for Daddy to wake up.  As he was stiring the mixture he looks up at me with those huge hazel eyes and says, “This make Daddy so happy!”  My heart melted.  Jackson was right.

Our relationship and marriage is better than ever.  Our finances (thanks in part to inheritances) have never been better.  Our sex life is amazing.  Our friendship is even more solid than before and we’ve always been best friends.  He no longer comes home pissed and stressed out about that “stupid company.”  The overall demeanor of the household has lightened and become so happy.  I feel so blessed to be where we are right now.  I pray that he never has to return to a “real” job and can stay home with us forever.

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  • Why I Write this Stuff

    My children called me Bobby when they were toddlers due to not being able to prounounce "Mommy." They are now 7 and 8 years old and I am Mommy. But my real name is Mandy. I just do this so I can keep in touch with the REAL me. Being a Bobby is a dream I thought I may never realize and I do not take it for granted. I homeschool (more specifically unschool) my two children and it's easy to lose yourself in the tasts of the day. I just want to make sure that after 19 or so years have passed,and my kids have moved out, I'm not stuck looking in the mirror and squinting in hopes of seeing Mandy again.