Browsing the archives for the My kids category.

Yard Selling with the girls

I am blessed, My kids, Uncategorized, Unschooling
I had a moment this weekend with Alex that made me realize just how awesome and grown up *sniff* she is. She went yard selling with me, Mom, my aunt Mel and my childhood BFF Elizabeth.
She asked for $10 of her money she’s been saving (the kid has more $ than I do most of the time!)  and Elizabeth gave her $5 as a late Bday present.
Alex took care of her money in her little purse she kept over her shoulder, shopped around,  asked questions, and very rarely paid full price because she always asked if they would take less.
She bought presents for just about everyone she knows. A picture frame that says “Me and my dad”  that she said she wanted to put a picture from one of her and her Daddy’s Valentines days dances. A doll for Cilly, a Gary plush toy for Jackson, and the last goes on.
What she bought for herself was a coin purse to organize her money better, a little cell phone that’s actually a calculator and a container of nail polish.
She never once acted like a child that I had to take care of.  More of a little girl who was out doing some shopping with the girls.
It was surreal.  I was shocked and happy and sad at the same time. When did she grow up??   I must have missed it.
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The kids and I are in love with one another – And Minecraft

Homeschooling, I am blessed, My kids, Parenting, Unschooling

I learned a new favorite saying from my friend and fellow veteran, unschooling/ homeschooling mom, Heidi:
“Cleaning and scrubbing can wait til tomorrow for babies grow up we’ve learned to our sorrow”

Along with “My hands are full but my heart is overflowing.” (thanks Maggie Mackay)

These two saying are basically my mothering style. I mess this up but this is the goal.

And yes, I’m feeling pretty emotional today because I’ve realized, my children have been at home with me 24/7 for 14 weeks and I have gotten over the hump. The only way I can explain what “hump” I mean is we’ve all had kids home all summer long and at the end of the summer you are so ready to be away from your kids. You are arguing, not getting along, etc. You are simply counting own the days to be separate from one another.  Well, with homeschooling, for me, I got to that point but didn’t send them to school and our relationships suffered, no learning was happening, and everyone was miserable.

This new approach to parenting and homeschooling has given me back my relationship with my kids. I don’t yell anymore! OK – I have a few times the last several weeks but this is a GREAT improvement to where we were.  They are not throwing fits. We are having fun together again. I am reveling in their joys, new explorations, hobbies and interests. They are my little BFF’s. I’m still their mother – make no mistake about that – but we are also happy to spend the day together.

Only if you walked this journey with me could you fully understand what I’m saying. Of course, I’ve always loved my children and they’ve always loved me.  I would have died for them at any stage of this process.  But, we have falling in love all over again with each other. I compare what happens to parents, (well what happened with ME, I can’t speak for others) is when you have that new baby it’s like a new boyfriend/girlfriend. You are so in love with them and find everything they do amazing. If they have a hobby or interest you learn to love it as well because if it brings your love joy, you love it.

Then you get married, the honeymoon phase is over, and you sort of get into a lull and your focus shifts just a bit. That football obsession you once thought was “cute” is now not quite so cool and gets in the way of the things you need him to do for YOU. You find yourself rolling your eyes when he excitedly talks about an amazing play he saw. Before long he no longer comes to you to share those moments because he feels you belittle it.

For my kids, this happened as well. Minecraft (right now) is their obsession. I didn’t know the first thing about this “silly” game.  I didn’t try to get it. But, after reading blogs, books, essays, and forums about unschooling/deschooling they ALL say the FIRST step is: “Just start enjoying life with your kids. If they are in to something GET INVOLVED IN IT WITH THEM. Don’t just allow them to play it, encourage it, play with them, help them find new information about this obsession, dive into it WITH THEM.” I took this to heart. I sat down with the kids one day as they were playing Minecraft and said, “Can I play with you guys?” They looked at me like I had grown three heads and then excitedly brought me a tablet and they talked over themselves trying to tell me what to do. We laughed together (well they laughed at me mostly 😉 ) and spent two hours on this “silly” game that I now LOVE! I get it now! And I didn’t play it with them with the “teacher” glasses. I just played it like a friend with them. OK, I can’t say I didn’t find myself every ONCE in a while thinking, “He just did math.” and then stopping myself. Just enjoy the game, the time, the laughter and the joy.

As soon as I post this blog I am going to join with my kids again. They are waiting patiently on either side of me laughing and talking and planning what they are doing. I can’t wait to join. The dishes are still in the sink and that’s so very OK with me.

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Radical Unschooling…here we come (*drinks more wine)

Homeschooling, My kids, The Anti-super Mom, Unschooling

If you read my previous blog post you saw where I was having a come-to-Jesus meeting with myself over this whole homeschooling quandary in which I find myself.  Jackson has pretty much began to reject anything that can even remotely be called “educational.”  It’s like he can be doing something he really enjoys but when he catches even a whiff of  me trying to get him to learn something and he says, “Nope.  Not happening.”  For a woman who needs checklists and finds the curriculum EXTREMELY COMFORTABLE this is hell, for all of us.  I seriously would be OK to do like the curriculum teacher’s guide says and do the “Say the following to your child…..” type of teaching.  But, it doesn’t work.  Ever.  With any child.  OK – I have no idea what will work with someone else’s children nor do I have the inclination to give a rats anus but I do know, it doesn’t work with my children.

Case in point:

Today was our first day back after our holiday 2 week break.  I attempted to “loosen up” my curriculum schedule.  Gave the kids the choice of what subjects they did and when and how.  I felt really proud that I was giving away some control but still felt that I had a hold of the reins.  Until Alex (my darling, always ready to please, happy-go-lucky angel) crumpled up her spelling list, threw it across the table, folded her arms and said, “I’m not doing this.”  And Jackson started his math worksheet, got 3 questions into it, put his pencil down and looked me in the eye with all the anger of Beelzebub himself and said, “I hate this.  Do you hear me?!  I. HATE.THIS!”  The shit storm that hit after these two incidents is something I would like to soon forget.

Today our local public schools were closed due to the extreme cold we are having.  If that had not been the case, I can not guarantee that I would not have loaded them up in my car, drove by the school and pushed them out as I rolled by.  It was that bad people.


Jim, God bless that man, told me to get them bundled up and he’d be by to get them to take a drive.  I was curious if he too was ready to drop them off for someone else to deal with but I kept my mouth shut.  He gave me a kiss ,took the kids and I didn’t hear from anyone for almost 2 hours.  I sat with my mother and vented and worried and freaked and moaned for the entire time saying things like, “I am quitting.  I can’t do this any more.”  “What am I doing wrong?”  “I’ve never failed at anything I wanted this badly.”  etc etc etc.  My dear mother listened to everything I had to say and encouraged me the best she could but, like everyone else, couldn’t really give me any ideas on what I could do to fix this pickle I found myself in.  The pickle of I WANT TO HOMESCHOOL SO BADLY and I AM FAILING MISERABLY AT IT.

When Jim got home with the kids I learned that he had taken them to a local doughnut shop (gee – thanks Dad – rewards for being hellions LOL) and talked with them explaining that “Mommy has quit.  She is throwing in the towel.”  And trying to get an idea of what was going on, why it wasn’t working etc.  At this little meeting he learned very little except that they desperately want to remain homeschooled and do not want to go to public school.  Outside of that, he had nothing.  Being the awesome partner he is he told me he will not allow me to homeschool under these conditions.  He understand, more than anyone else on this planet, that Jackson is not only a special needs child but also a force of nature that only the mightiest of souls could handle and Alex was beginning to find her “independent streak” and these two things combined would scare many-a man.  He believes I am smart, strong and able enough to do the job successfully but that at this current time, that is not happening so he was ready to pull the plug as well.

I cried for close to 3 hours coming to terms with the idea that I will be sending them off to school and admitting that something I so dearly want to do I simply am unable to do.  I got out of bed and sat in silence and prayed to Jesus for wisdom and guidance.  He knows my heart.  He knows my strengths.  He knows my weaknesses and also knows my children.  Then I posted on a local homeschool co-op we are members of asking for any advice from veteran, SUCCESSFUL homeschool mom’s could give me.  I got a lot of words of support and encouragement.  But, of course, no answers because that’s impossible.  This is my family, my children, and my problem.  I have to figure it out myself.

I came to the obvious conclusion that what I am doing is not working and therefore I need to do something different.  Radically different.  The most radically different method I could think of was unschooling.  So, I began researching.  This was not a new concept to me.  I had heard about this for a long time.  Honestly, I thought the unschooling famlies were nuts, freaks, off the grid hippies, and crazy liberals.  Sorry, but it’s true.  I really have to apologize for that little admission because I have friends who do or have unschooled but I just couldn’t wrap my head around it as being a viable option.  How can child lead learning result in anything but a 45 year old, unmotivated man child who plays W.o.W. while living in my basement?

I’ve been researching, reading blogs, reading testimonials, and learning exactly what is unschooling and envisioning my children doing this.   This young lady really hit the nail on the head with her answers to all the things I was thinking were reasons NOT to unschool.  She is a 19 year old woman who has unschooled herself and dang, she impressed me.  Could it be true that a human being will educate itself if given the opportunity, guidance, and the availability of information?  I think, knowing my children, their personalities, learning styles, IQ’s, my own drive to see them HAPPY (FIRST AND FOREMOST) and educated, it just might work!

So a decision has been made.

We will begin radically unschooling, effective immediately.  I have until August, when the public school reconvenes after summer break, to see if we can all agree that this is something that is sustainable and commendable.   I think that even if right now, this second, we stopped reading, or doing anything education wise they would still be at grade level when they returned to school in August so, this is the perfect time to try this.

I know my tendency will be to try to coerce the type, style, and way of learning that I know from public school.  I have read several times that where the unschooling model fails is when the parent tries to get too involved in what is being learned.  I will do my best to simply be a facilitator, to strew great books, movies, TV shows, links, and field trips around them.  Making them available…but  it will be up to them what they pick up, and what they don’t.  If they get an interest in something, I will do my best to encourage them, help them find more way to learn about that topic or interest and try hard not to limit things simply because it doesn’t fit in my trained public school box.  This will be hard as letting go of control is NEVER something I am comfortable with but I have to say I tried everything before I decide to stop.  Otherwise, my whole life I wonder, “What if.”

So, friends, family, and acquaintances – I would love it if you could pray for us, maybe encourage us and the no judging thing would be awesome but hey, I used to judge these whack jobs so I know that last one is a stretch.  I’ll meet you on the other side.  If on the other side I look like this I apologize. hippie

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Puppet Show

Crafty, Homeschooling, My kids

Although we don’t technically begin our curriculum until after Labor Day, we have been working more and more on getting our days structured and peppered with “homeschool-esque” type of activities.  Today I decided to just do completely child lead learning.  Some may call this unschooling.  I think it’s just called being a mother.  We all do this with our kids from birth practically.  Your baby points to a balloon in a book and you go on about how it’s a circle, it’s blue, it goes “pop”, etc.

I told the kids after breakfast that the TV and all screens are going off until after the school bus goes by.  So, on their own they went in their room and found some crafts to do.  First they found the sock puppet making kit (as a side note, it’s helpful to have quality books and activities laying around for them to “find on their own.”)

puppetmakingcollageThey then wrote one act of their puppet show.  Well, I physically wrote it because I was wanting to focus on creativity and learning about reading the script.  They had the script “back stage” to reference.  It was proud of myself for not laughing the whole time because it was just too dang cute.  To see the complete first act of their play (this is for Daddy basically) click the picture of my two yay-who’s below.  It’s been a good day to be a home school Mom.

puppet1

 

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The new and improved JACKS!

My kids, My life, Parenting

A while back I posted an entry called “That’s a terrible thing to say.” In it I vented about my frustration with my then 3 year old.   But, it’s been a year and WHAT  a year it’s been.

So much has happened that I would like to make sure I write about.  After the whole “getting kicked out of preschool” incident and the escalating anger and behavioral issues we decided we needed help.  Help learning how to parent this special boy.  So, through COUNTLESS hours of research and calling various doctors, child psychologists I found the perfect place for us to start.

Ball State University Psychoeducational Diagnostic Intervention Clinic.  There was a 6 month waiting list but because all our other options were going to cost thousands of dollars we went with this one.   Plus, this clinic does both IQ testing for giftedness AND behavioral testing as well.  The perfect fit. It was a weekend long testing, very thorough and Jackson had a blast.  It was just games to him.   They tested his IQ as well as for behavioral and emotional conditions. After the testing we had to wait another 3 weeks to get our results.

What we suspected was confirmed to us:  He’s a genius and he has ADHD.  Well, at least we had someone impartial and professional telling us so.  We were given parenting tips, diet changes and also suggestions for medication.  We researched, prayed, talked with our pediatrician (who we love and trust) and decided that to give Jackson all the chances he can in life to succeed he needed a little help.

I’m sure there will be those who are so anti-medication who are also equally uneducated but who have hearts of gold who will say we are just doping him up and that’s why he’s “good.”  That’s fine, you can say those things.  And then go back to your home and do what you see fit with your family.  As for me and my family, we will do the same.

Fast forward to today (a year and a half later).  Jackson is a pleasure to be around.  Learning new things in leaps and bounds.  Reading at a 1st grade level.  He’s in a new preschool and doing wonderfully!!!  At our first PTO meeting with Jackson’s teacher (who we told NOTHING to about his previous preschool experience, his IQ, nor his diagnosis or meds) she had nothing but glowing things to say about him.  Jim and I just sat there close to tears as we let her go on and explain how he is polite, highly intelligent, and fun he is.  A pleasure to have in her class!  Then, like a bubble about to burst, we let her know how excited we were by what she was telling us and why.  Poor woman, she must have thought we were nuts b/c Jim and I  talked over each other; explained where we had come from, what we had been through and what the testing had told us.

Just a few months ago he got an award.  I think the picture says it all:

 

 

This is the little boy that Jackson was all along.  He was just unable to let him out b/c he had so much going on in that big ol’ brain of his he didn’t know what to do with himself.  He is not a zombie on his medicine, he is himself.  The way he WANTS TO BE.  Able to focus, able to think, able to communicate his thoughts and feelings and, able to listen and control himself.

He loves school and can’t wait for kindergarten.  We haven’t totally ruled out homeschooling but for now it’s just on the shelf.  Let things develop and see what happens.  I, for one, am THRILLED to see!

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Sick. Sick. Sick!

My kids, My life

For 5 days and 6 nights I have been surrounded by sick people.  Even worse, those people are people within my house.  And even worse, those people are the little people I hold so dear.  Which means I have been sneezed, cried, climbed, and puked on. Although one of my God given gifts is empathy I have a hard time having sympathy for sick people.  Especially when I am the one who is expected to jump every time someone says “Mommy.”  I had two babies a year and four days apart.  They are a month from being 2 and 3 years old but this week has been more draining and more taxing on my psyche and nerves than when Alex was a new born and Jackson was a year old.  I was blessed with sleepers (more or less).  So, I have never really had to go through all the sleepless nights or colicky stuff.  Thank God.

It is due to this past week I have seriously, and honestly been considering (along with my husband of course) about being done, fin Ito, finished, over, and completed having kids.  I have always thought one more child was in the future.  I have had the vision of my little brunette, brown-eyed little boy named Max.  But, after this last event I wonder I am cut out to be a mom of more than the two I have. And even those two, I wonder if they didn’t get a raw deal getting me.  I just feel like throwing myself through a window or fleeing like a thief in the night.  I am a woman who needs her sleep.  Ask anyone who knows me.  So, these nights of 2-3 hours of interrupted sleep for the past 5 nights is causing me to go a little batty (left eye twitches).

These little people, they don’t really know sick etiquette.  The idea of covering their mouth when they sneeze so Mighty Putty does not pelt from their nostrils?  Does not occur to them.  Even when Mom is only inches from their face.  Evidently, just crying seems to be the only thing they can do to tell you what is wrong.  Even when they can talk!  Jackson knows his planets, ABC’s, can count to 30, etc but try to get him to tell you what’s wrong when it’s 3 am and he is upset.  I just go down the checklist just like I used to when he was a baby.

Alex will wake up wringing wet but try and change her clothes and you will hear something of the same decibel as a fire truck siren.  Seriously, it sounds like I am beating the poor child.

Think anyone will take care of me IF I get sick?  I may just go to Mommy’s house LOL.  I guess we never get to clock out of this job huh? LOL.

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Plan to work and work the plan

Homeschooling, Just my opinion, Mr. Tolerable, My kids, My life, Parenting, Uncategorized

Before Jim and I had children we talked hours and hours about our philosophies on every aspect of parenting to discipline, to sleeping arrangements, to how to have the “bird and the bees” talk.  We both were adamant, we did not want our children in our bed with us.  This is a topic that has been debated so thoroughly that I could scream but that is not what I am hoping to spark with this.  I am simply saying, for me and my family it is the way it is and the way it works.  Each child goes to bed in his or her bed and Jim and i sleep together in our bed.  It was something that was a bit difficult to establish, especially when I was nursing and getting up every 2-4 hours but we stuck to our plan and it has paid off.

Another thing we spoke about thoroughly and agreed on was to maintain our marriage; to cultivate it like a good gardener cultivates his crop.  We purposely take time away from our children to spend eye to eye in conversations and in love.  I want to show my kids what a marriage is supposed to be like.  I want to model a good relationship so that when they are searching for their spouse they do not settle on good enough.  My mother and father have been married for 43 years but I really never felt they were in love with one another.  I remember seeing them hug a few times but there was no real emotion there.  Every child wants their Mom and Dad to be in love (even if you do not want to think about it – yuck!)  I almost settled on good enough before I met my husband.  I thought the love that you read about, the love that is all encompassing, the love that is so strong it can bring you to tears was simply a fantasy.  I am so blessed that I found my husband and the love of my life and know for a fact that that love does indeed exist.  I want…..need….my children to know that.

Our biggest agreement was that we wanted them to know we would die for them.  That they were the most precious, loved and important people in our life.  But, that the world does not revolve around them nor do we.  These parents who run themselves literally ragged because each child is in 3 different extracurricular activities is an example of what I am talking about.  If there is a show on that we want to watch, we will watch it and if the kids want to watch something else, tough.  You either watch it with us (if appropriate) or go down stairs and watch something else.  They are not at the helm of this ship and I know later in life this lesson will serve them well.  They will not enter this world thinking they are owed something from society or the world.  They must earn it.

Now, I have to say, we are in the infancy of this young family and we have passed several of the tests we knew would come.  I obviously do not have all the answers.  If in 25 years I have one in prison and one still living at home I will say “I WAS WRONG” but at least we have a plan.  It is the most important task God has ever give us, or any person, which is to raise these little beings into productive, happy, healthy and independent people.  Without a plan, I fear we would lose course and make bad decisions.  Do not make life altering decisions by the seat of your pants.  Make a plan and stick to it. Now, if I can only head my own suggestions.

We may be screwing our kids up by the methods we have decided to utilize.  If that is true, we will be ROYALLY messing them up since we plan to homeschool.  Those poor poor kids…..lol

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Turning 30 and proud

I am blessed, Infertility, Mr. Tolerable, My kids, My life, Parenting

The 18th of this month will mark the anniversary of my entrance into this world.  I remember every year on my birthday Mom telling me the story of my birth and the exciting happenings that soon followed.  If she forgot, I would be sure to remind her.  I am the youngest and the only girl.  The gap between my closest brother and myself is 7 years.  I think you know where I am going with this….I was spoiled beyond measure or reason.  I had a happy-go-lucky childhood.  I had the best Mom in the world and it is because of her I am the mother I am today.  I had the best roll model anyone could have.  From birth to about 18 I was a happy girl who knew what she wanted in and out of life.  My how things can change.

I remember being a youthfully stupid 20 year old and thinking how far away 30 seemed.  I would look at “grown ups” around me and think, “30 year old people are just so…..old.”  They had mortgages, jobs, kids, responsibilities and took everything seriously.  I didn’t want to be that way when I turned 30.  I think I did ALL of them except maybe the last.  But, honestly, if this past year is any indication of what my 30’s are going to be like this is the most awesome time of my life.  These are the good ol’ days.

When I was turning 20 I was dating Mr. Good Guy and confused about where my path would lead me.  I was lost, confused, sad and empty.  College was just something to pass the time.  I look at it now as 4 expensive years of extended high school.  Of course, when looking at pictures of my 135 lbs self and can’t help but think, “That would be nice.”  The body is really the only thing I would like to go back to.  But, I know I have “spread out” as my dad would say, due to carrying two beautiful children for 9 months.  The stretch marks, saggy boobs, and big butt are just a few of the rights of passage of being what I am today; a mom.  My dream.  I know some of the Gloria Steinem’s out there say that I am not living to my full potential.  That women for centuries have been fighting so I would not have to “lesson” myself and stay home barefoot and pregnant.  I agree with part of that.  Women have been fighting so that all women have the choice of what they want to do with their lives.  I choose, and relish, being a stay-at-home mother and wife. It’s a little out-of-date.  Probably not hip or cool.  But, I love it.  And, just to toot my own horn a bit, I’m pretty durn good at it.  My husband often tells me I am the most natural mother he’s ever seen.  To that I answer, “nothing I’ve ever done has ever felt so right.”  It’s like breathing.

And to think that there were several years when I did not know if I would ever to realize my dream.  It took over my every thought and prayer.  A commercial, a song, a pregnant lady at the grocery store were all reminders of what I did not have.  My mid 20’s were full of doubt, anger, frustration and sadness because of the infertility.  I was so happy to have found my soul mate.  Until I met Mr. Tolerable I thought the love that songs are written about and movies portray was something made up.  As soon as I meet my soul mate I understood what love was.  But, there was a big piece of the puzzle missing; a family.  It was a depressing and lonely time but I learned so much about myself and what was really important that I know I am blessed for the struggles we faced.

If there was one thing I would like to go back to during that time it would be the quiet times with just Mr. Tolerable and I.  The trips we went on.  The laughter we had as a young couple with no children to chase after, keep us awake at night, or discipline.

But the 30’s, so far, seem so wonderful I just want to press the pause button on the dial of life.  My children are old enough to not need me 24 hours a day but young enough to need me most of the time.  My best friend and husband is working from home and spending so much more time with us.  We have a cute house by the park in a nice little town.  I have great friends, a wonderful family, and an ever growing faith in Jesus.

I am in the process of getting back that 135 lbs body from my 20’s so there will be nothing from that time I want to go back to.  I am about 3 weeks into “Project: Bringing Sexy Back.”  Here is my semi before picture.  Wish me luck!  Happy Birthday and Life to me!

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Let’s lighten things up a bit, shall we?

My kids, My life, Random Stuff

People who know me, know I am a goofball.  But from time to time I like to get serious. The last two blog posts were my serious side…now I’d like to get back to the goof side.  It’s a lot more fun.

My goal this year is to buy ALL my Christmas gifts online or through a catalog.  I wish I could say it was because I want to avoid the big crowds at the stores. But, in all honesty, I just LOVE getting packages delivered to me.  When the UPS, DHL or FedEx truck goes by and doesn’t stop at my door, I feel a level of sadness I’m sure  is unhealthy for an adult to have over something so trivial.  And when I hear the screech of the breaks on that big brown truck I rush down the stairs like I am meeting a long lost relative.  The mixed feelings I have when I have missed the truck and have a package on my porch are, I’m sure, certifiable.  It just does not bring the rush that having a packaged handed to me from the guy in the ugly brown shorts affords.

Just yesterday my friend, Ben, from the UPS truck made a stop at my home to deliver a LARGE box. I knew instantly what it was.  My baby girl’s Christmas present.  I found a large lot on ebay that I could not pass up. There is not a little girl I know who would not love to get this:

Big Lot of Fisher Price Sweet Streets Buildings, People and accessories

Big Lot of Fisher Price Sweet Streets Buildings, People and accessories

I am pretty confident that I am compensating for my childhood dreams of having an elaborate dollhouse with all the perfect furniture and rugs.  I had a great childhood but there were two things I never got that I always wanted: a dollhouse and tap/ballet lessons.  I cannot wait until Christmas arrives and she walks down the hallway and sees this miniature city waiting for her little hands to manipulate.  I only wish Santa would not get all the glory but that is the selfish side of me rearing it’s ugly head.

Next year?  Dance classes…

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I’m going to brag on my husband a bit.

I am blessed, Jim the Tolerable, Mr. Tolerable, My kids, My life, The job hunt

If you are in a marriage where you feel like your husband would rather spend time with the dog/golf club/TV/car/bar/buddies/his right hand than you – skip this entry because I have so much bragging to do on my guy that it would make even the most “happily married” person gag.   You’ve been fully warned.

If you have been reading my posts you know that recently my husband left his job at a new home builder and has decided to work from home as a professional handicapper/horse player.  I know most women would cringe at the idea of their husband being home.  Honestly, I wondered how we would fare being in a confined space for an extended period of time.  Turns out – I NEVER WANT HIM TO GET A REAL JOB AGAIN.

His chosen career allots for plenty of time to do other things around the house.  He creates his own “honey do” list and works on it with vigor.  Example one: I asked him this past summer to help me transform our downstairs living room (AKA the place where we pile the clean clothes as it waits……and waits for me to come down and fold it) into a play room for the kids.  The wintertime in Southern Indiana can get rather mundane to put it nicely and it would be so nice to have somewhere else to go.  Plus, play dates would hopefully be a BIT quieter and more fun for the kids as well as the Moms.  Well, my Mr. Tolerable worked his cute little tail away for the past 2 days moving furniture, a Big Screen TV, rewiring the TV so we have a VCR AND a DVD player, removing doors, and vacuuming.  I didn’t remind him, I didn’t harp at him.  He listened when I said it the first time over 4 months ago and just did it.  How many men do that?  He has also been “wiping the rest of this place into shape” as he like to put it.  Hanging new binds, measuring our back door to be replaced, organizing his offfice, mowing, grocery shopping, doing laundry (since he is downstairs anyway, where the machine is – his words, not mine) ordering a new fridge and me a new Palm Centro (AWESOME).  I just keep saying, “You spoil me so bad!”  His response is always the manly, “Cuz you sex me up baby.”  Followed with either a butt squeeze or a boob honk.  What can I say, he’s still a man.

Jackson and Alex absolutely adore their Daddy.  It has been so awesome watching their relationships grow in just a few months.  They now get to see Daddy anytime they want.  Yesterday morning Jackson made his Daddy blue berry muffins (with a touch of help from Mommy).  He was so proud of himself and couldn’t wait for Daddy to wake up.  As he was stiring the mixture he looks up at me with those huge hazel eyes and says, “This make Daddy so happy!”  My heart melted.  Jackson was right.

Our relationship and marriage is better than ever.  Our finances (thanks in part to inheritances) have never been better.  Our sex life is amazing.  Our friendship is even more solid than before and we’ve always been best friends.  He no longer comes home pissed and stressed out about that “stupid company.”  The overall demeanor of the household has lightened and become so happy.  I feel so blessed to be where we are right now.  I pray that he never has to return to a “real” job and can stay home with us forever.

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  • Why I Write this Stuff

    My children called me Bobby when they were toddlers due to not being able to prounounce "Mommy." They are now 7 and 8 years old and I am Mommy. But my real name is Mandy. I just do this so I can keep in touch with the REAL me. Being a Bobby is a dream I thought I may never realize and I do not take it for granted. I homeschool (more specifically unschool) my two children and it's easy to lose yourself in the tasts of the day. I just want to make sure that after 19 or so years have passed,and my kids have moved out, I'm not stuck looking in the mirror and squinting in hopes of seeing Mandy again.