Today I realized something.  When my children get to “school age” everything about my life is going to change.  For those of you who don’t already know, I plan to home school my two.  Meaning, they will never attend a “traditional school.”  When that time happens several things will change.

First off my social life.  Right now I am at play dates, going to yard sales, swimming, playing at the park with about 3 other mom’s with kids about the same age as mine.  They are my clique I guess you could say.  I love it.  About three days a week we are with them.  I look forward to these outings and they have become like water for me.  Without them I grow thirsty for that interaction.  But, none of them are going to homeschool their children.

So, in 3 or so years all these woman are returning to the workforce and leaving my life basically. Yes, I will still see them, and we will still talk.  But my steady outings with them will cease.  Then what?  I cannot imagine going back to not having any friends to do things with.  The thought of trying to gain another group of friends scares the bejesus out of me plus I LOVE these girls so much!  They are awesome.  You can’t just replace that.  Sigh. 

Secondly, I will have another role.  Teacher.  I will have to study and learn things before I can teach them so that will take up time.  I will have to be more of a planner, scheduler and proactive Mom.  Something I really struggle with.  I usually do not know what I’m cooking dinner at 3pm! 

Finally there is the culture of my family and town.  My Mom is super supportive of my decision to homeschool.  I wouldn’t expect her to be any less but the rest of my family is apprehensive.  My father is flat out against it.  It will not affect anything or change my mind but it will be so hard to listen to him say over and over, “Kids should be in school.  Homeschooling should be illegal.”  So, I’ll have to deal with the questions at family gatherings.  Have to defend my decision where ever I go.  I pray that my children will be my loudest statement. 

I am so excited at the chance, the opportunity, to teach my children.  To not have to send them off for 40 hours a week.  To have the financial means to make it possible for me to stay home and grateful for my husband’s complete support of the idea (it was his idea in the first place!)  I am just scared of the change that it means has to come.